Entry 3
There are so many things I could tell how the song The Man I Want To Be influenced my life, but there is one time that it really helped me get through some rough times.
These last few months have been so hard for me and my family. I was recently diagnosed with cervical cancer on December 29th. On December 30th my husband and I went to see Chris in Pittsburg, Texas and I was feeling really down and not worthy of myself. I felt like I did something wrong to get cancer and I felt like I was nothing , but my husband told me going to see Chris would make it all better. I didn't even feel like I was worthy of being loved by anyone and just wanted to be left alone. On December 29th when I was diagnosed I just wanted to be by myself. I stayed in my room crying my eyes out thinking the worst. I was thinking that if something happened to me where would my family be without me. How would my kids be losing their mother at such a young age. How would my husband hold the family together because I am the rock that holds us together. I prayed to God that he would help me get through this and help me be here to hold my family together and to be okay.
Then on December 30th I went to Chris's concert not feeling worthy of anything, like I said, I felt at some point like I did something wrong and I was being punished. But Chris sang the song The Man I Want To Be and he sang that song with so much feeling. During that song my husband turned to me and looked me in the eyes and told me that God would answer my prayers and He would make everything ok. All I had to do was believe that he was by my side and he would be there for me each step of the way holding my hand. I remember then looking over at Chris with the passion in his eyes singing that song and for a brief second I could see God standing beside him; it was like he was with Chris and I knew right then that he was looking over all of his children and I knew he would be with me.
Thank You so much for singing this song. It has really helped me through this process. I listen to this song every morning before I get out of bed. This song makes me feel like a stronger woman and that I can do anything with God by my side. I know that all I have to do is pray and God will answer my prayers and be with me every step of the way.
